Yesterday was rough. I went for a blood draw at about 11:30 and when I picked up my lab form I dropped off the list of grief resources I had made up for DeEtte. And then I took the form over to the lab and there it was again...
Missed Abortion
...right there on the form. *sigh* As though I'm not hurting enough already? Let's go stick "abortion" on my paperwork.
So the blood draw went fine, and then I took the boys to the park. It was nice (hot though) because Heather came with her precious little girl who is just a few days from being exactly the same age as Zollie. Heather miscarried a couple of months ago, and so we had a lot to talk about. It was good to talk to someone who had been there and understood what I was feeling. She's pregnant again, now, and is coming up on the 6 week mark when she lost her last little one, so she's understandably nervous.
We talked about how losing one just sucks the joy and carefree-ness out of any future pregnancy. You realize they aren't EVER safe...I know women who have lost babies at any and every point during pregnancy, during labor itself, within hours, days, and months of being born. They are so vulnerable - always at risk. It's a lot easier now to see how moms who have to deal with all the stress and alarms that go with having a NICU baby end up with anxiety disorders.
We came home and the boys took a nap and I tried to be a little productive. I got a load of laundry done - that's good, right? Then PG got home and we had a dinner at church. I had been looking forward to that because the Haiti mission team was going to show off their slide show and we had a Haitian meal. But during the slide show they kept talking about these "beach kids" who are orphans and homeless, and just fend for themselves, and I just wanted to fly down there and bring them all home.
I had a rough night after that. I just wanted to sit and cry. I didn't go to sleep until almost 2am, and then had to get up at 7ish to teach at 8. Class went really well, at least. We learned about bats and the water cycle. The girls have some homework to do for Tuesday and I'm going to surprise them with a little quiz too (if they do their homework they should breeze through the quiz).
After I got home today I got Zollie down for a nap and did some school with Ian. I'm very impressed with him...He got about 23 of 26 letter sounds right on the first try. We practiced drawing straight lines and the # 1 as well. Apparently you can get him to do anything if you just promise he can play with the glitter pens LOL.
Both boys are asleep right now and I should probably be as well. Kenzie is coming back here when she's done teaching at 3:30, and she's spending the night. I need to do some cleaning before PG gets home...I know he's tired of the house looking lie a tornado (a very nasty one, full of dirty dishes and clothes) blew through. I'm just so unmotivated to clean. Bleh.
The good news I got today, though, was that my HCG levels came back at only 68 so I don't need any more bloodwork. Yay! Hopefully that means I don't ever have to see the word "abortion" associated with my name again.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Glad Ian is doing so well. You sound just as you should, too. ((HUGS))
awesome that they let you out of another blood draw. my OB must just be super picky.
just a warning, missed abortion may be on your paperwork if you ever have to go back to that office. my paperwork always shows what I was last seen for. when i went in for a pregnancy confirmation, "missed abortion" was on my paperwork which got me upset all over again.
Post a Comment